First off, what is up with that stupid
question mark? Have you ever seen a question mark in a song title
before? Is a question mark metal now or something? In fact, the whole
premise of this song is quite arbitrary; Is there a God, isn't there a
God, etc. These are questions we all ask, and they matter, but I
don't like indecisiveness in my metal. I like it hard and pure.
Fucking A. Slayer's been dealing with these themes since the 80s and
I'm supposed to feel sorry for these old dudes who can't figure their
shit out? No thanks. (For the record I don't like Slayer, they just felt like a great example in this moment.)
Second, where the fuck are all those
great god damn riffs I've been hearing so much about? The first five
minutes of this song are nothing but a cheap knock off of “Black
Sabbath” the song with alternating loud-soft verses and choruses
and some cheesy power chord-chord progressions thrown in so Ozzy can
do his solo-era vocal melodyzing over the top. I mean gimme' a break, I heard this on their last album with Dio and the last two Ozzy solo
records, is it somehow better now that they
are together? Not really.
Next: The production, oh God the production.
Just because Rick Rubin has a Gandalf like beard and scraggly “I
haven't showered in a year” hair-do doesn't mean he knows shit
about mixing Doom Metal. And let's face it, at nine minutes long and
with an average BPM of probably like 80-95, that's exactly what this
is. The Doom genre that was formed out of admiration of this great band is
now more relevant than the band itself. Good God, they should have
called this “The World is Dead.”
The one saving grace here is Ozzy's
voice. Yes, I said it, I love the sound of Ozzy's drawling, ominous
monotone. He's as musical as ever here in spite of his limitations
and in fact is sounding better than ever in his old age what with the
lower register and all. Additionally, Geezer's bass in parts is
pretty cool. The man knows how to cut a bassline.
Now onto Bill Ward. For the record, I
wasn't one who was moaning and groaning when the band and Bill
announced they'd be parting ways for this record. I mean Tony and
Geezer both put out a decent album in “The Devil You Know”
without Bill on drums. But this new dude, Brad something-or-another,
sounds so afraid to show any emotion in his playing that it literally
sucks the life out of every measure. His playing is so stiff I
could've programmed a better drum track. In fact, I might just to
show how awful he is. But what do you expect? I mean
the guy is probably like half Ozzy, Tony and Geezer's age and he's
supposed to somehow relate to what they are doing? Furthermore, he was the drummer for Rage Against The Machine, I wouldn't be
surprised if had a Raging (haha, get it?) hard-on every time he
stepped into the studio with these dudes, I know I would’ve. He was
probably afraid to take risks for fear of angering the "Godfathers of Heavy Metal." But Bill is the same as them in more than just age. He's been through the same trials and tribulations. He doesn't fear or revere the name Black Sabbath in the same way most metal musicians do, he was a part of it before it was anything. With time and wisdom and his indescribable style behind the kit, Bill could've done so much with
this. Alas.
Last, those of you who followed Sabbath
during their original reunion in the late-90s and early-2000s might
remember a little song called "Scary Dreams" that was only played live
a handful of times and was never released as a studio recording. Well,
“God Is Dead” (I'm purposefully leaving out the question mark this time) is
essentially that song. The length is about the same, the key is
probably the same, the tempo is the same and the arrangement is absolutely the same. I
can't tell you how tired I am of hearing
“verse-chorus-verse-chorus-transition-bridge(double time, of
course)-guitar solo-outro chorus refrain.” It may have worked on
“Snowblind” and “Into The Void” and a handful of other songs,
but it doesn't work here in the 21st century where we've heard it a thousand times since. Little known fact; supposedly the band
narrowed down from 16 songs to only seven for this album. Yes, “God
is Dead?” is one of those songs. Needless to say, I shant be buying
the deluxe edition with “an extra disc of unreleased material.”
Well that's about it. I'm not a
journalist. I'm just a dude who is very passionate about music and
art. Maybe it doesn't get across due to my lack of “reporting”
and proper journalistic technique. But I really don't give a fuck
anymore. The world has jilted me when I deserved to be heard so
here's to a big middle finger at the world. We can do better. We can
all do better than this. Sure, maybe God IS dead, but it's starting
to sound like good music died with him/her/it (probably a robot AI or genderless alien race, after all).
